(Originally published March 19, 2020)
My mother, Dorothy, lives in an assisted living facility not far from my home. She’s struggling with dementia that worsens month by month, and I visit her often. We also have a beloved aide, Barbara, who takes her on outings several times a week.
When the facility announced a ban on visitors about a week ago to help prevent the spread of COVID-19, I felt a bit of panic, knowing I would not be able to see my mom in person. Would she realize I was no longer visiting but not understand why? How would I check on her? How long will this last?
I immediately thought about turning to technology to solve the problem. Often, in the past during visits, I would set up FaceTime or Skype calls with other family members who do not live nearby, so everyone could communicate.
Within a few days of the visitor ban, the staff reached out to families to let us know they will connect us with our loved ones using technology at a time convenient to all.
We set up a quick FaceTime with my mom. It was so good to talk to her! Of course, she wanted to know when I would be coming to visit, and it was upsetting to have to dance around my answer. But I was relieved to see she looked well and was in good spirits.
If you have a loved one in a facility and you can’t visit, ask the staff to set up a virtual get-together. You and your family member will both feel better. And right now, during these very stressful times, feeling just a little less anxious means a lot.